From Barneys to Brooklyn
by bibleboymary4ever
Summary: What happens when Blair decides it her and Serena's duty to rescue Nate from Brooklyn? A friendship fiction centered around B/N/S/D, with special appearances by Rufus and Little J. Post Pret-a-Poor-J. 2/2.
1. Barneys

**From Barneys to Brooklyn** by **Joan**

**Summary:** A friendship fic centered around Blair/Nate/Serena/Dan, with special appearances by Rufus and Little J. Post Pret-a-Poor-J.

**Disclaimer**: I only get to play with them, they're not really mine.

Blair carefully perused the makeup counter at Barney's. She knew the merchandise better than the leering salesman, but one could never be too sure. She picked up one of the Lipstick Queen testers and swatched it on her hand, examining it carefully. "So, are you a Saint or a Sinner?" The salesman asked eagerly.

"A sinner," Blair smirked. "I'll take two of the Rouge Sinner lipsticks. And, um, a Red Sinner, too."

"Anything for your friend?" The salesman glanced to the blonde on her right who was balancing a large shopping bag with her own Gucci tote, freshly purchased from the Resort collection.

"Serena?" Blair turned to her best friend. "You want a lipgloss, right?" The blonde nodded distractedly. Blair gestured towards the Shine lipglosses. "Serena just loves to shine."

The salesman nodded and went to wrap up her purchases. That comment had caught Serena's attention, and she tossed the cellphone haphazardly into her bag as she rolled her eyes at her friend. "B, I thought we were over that—what is with you today?"

"What is with you?" Blair retorted. "Still trying to find the number of Camp Artist Boy? S, I thought guys were supposed to be the ones desperate for your number."

"It's just.." Serena was frustrated. She still felt so silly that her epiphany about the shared past between her and Aaron had come as he rode off on his motorcycle with another girl. She'd always wanted to ride on the back of some guys motorcycle like that. "Didn't Kati go with me to Switzerland that summer? I mean, I tried calling on her International and New York phones. You know how she is—I'm sure she has everyone she ever met in elementary school as a facebook friend."

"If it's time for bunch in New York, it's time for dinner in Jerusalum—she'll get back to you as soon as she tears herself off of the latest boytoy soldier." Blair assured her as she signed the receipt and took the bag of cosmetics. "Speaking of—don't you want to head over to Fred's?"

Serena nodded. "Yeah, I'm totally starving. Ooh, I think I'm gonna get the French toast today! I haven't had it in way too long—Mom is on this weird raw foods kick, and all I can get the chef to make at home for breakfast are protein shakes. With like, grass in them."

"Ew," Blair wrinkled her nose. To her, the thought of eating a stack of buttery, syrup dripped French toast was as bad as swallowing 24 oz of green goo. Never mind the thousand-calorie difference, Blair knew from experience how bad those protein shakes tasted coming back up. Unfortunately.

They reached the restaurant and settled into a table, ordering their French toast and salad, respectively.

Serena opened her mouth as if to say something and Blair held up her glass of water in warning. "Before you say anything, S, the C word is off limits!"

Serena looks confused for a second. "Cunt?" She asks. "Because that's not usually one we use during brunch, unless you want to talk about that freshman with herpes.."

Blair sighed. Her best friend could be so terribly blonde sometimes. "Not cunt," she hissed. "That stepbrother of yours."

"Oh, B," Serena bit her lip. She felt bad for being so tied up in her own Dan/Aaron drama. "He'll come around, you just need to know that…"

"I don't need to know anything," Blair snapped. "Except which freshman has herpes and where they picked it up."

Serena brightened. "The same one you held a disciplinary meeting with last week! Apparently she was so upset, she went out and hooked up with some busboy."

"A busboy?" Blair wrinkled. "I don't even think you've slummed that low before, S!"

"Thanks, I think." Serena said. "So, is Brooklyn officially off the slumming list, then ?"

Blair sighed. "I guess."

"I mean, now that we're all friends with Dan, and Nate's staying with the Humphrey's and.." Serena started to happily chatter on and then noticed the bewildered expression on Blair's face.

"What?"

"What?" Serena didn't like being intuerrupted.

"Why is Nate staying with the Humphrey's, of all people?" Blair demanded. "IN Brooklyn!? I mean, doesn't that triple his commute to school."

"B," Serena said softly. "Didn't you know Anne was in Southampton?"

"Of course," Blair stiffened. "I just didn't—" She squirmed in her seat. She had been so preoccupied with her social status, and with Chuck, that she had completely neglected Nathaniel. Whether or not he was meant to be her Prince Charming, he had always been one of her best friends. "I guess I didn't realize how hard the whole trial would be on Nate—but why is he staying with the Humphrey's? I didn't even think he and Dan were friends."

Serena shrugged. "They're on the soccer team together?"

"S! Do you not remember all the times Anne let you and Eric stay in her guest room? We need to reciprocate. Nate belongs…with us. Not the Humphrey's. I mean, don't you think Anne would be devastated to hear that her family is so destitute that her son has to stay in a guest room in an outer borough!" Blair was satisfied with her display of drama. Serena? Not so much.

"The Humphrey's are good people, Blair. And you know how Dan and I have been trying to be friends lately…"

"So we'll have brunch in Brooklyn." Blair decided.

Serena looked confused again, and Blair remembered why it was so much easier to scheme with Chuck. "But we already ordered! And my French toast will get all soggy if I have to get it to go."

"Fine," Blair huffed. "We will eat our food and then go to Brooklyn. We can bring muffins! Nate likes banana nut."

"Blair," Serena hesitated. "I still don't get why you need to go to Brooklyn. I thought, like, 98% of you hated Dan." She didn't need to bother mentioning Jenny.

"So 2% of me can stand him at times!" She insisted. "Yesterday, you were all, oh, Blair, let's eat lunch with my friend, Dan, oh, Blair, let's ask my friend Dan for advice." She paused. "And don't you think Aaron Rose's art dealer is more likely to have his phone number than Kati who's all the way in the middle east?" She arched an eyebrow.

Serena hesitated. The waiter came and set the food in front of them. Her French toast looked so yummy, and she really wanted to savor it. But trying to be friends with Dan was awkward enough for her. How could getting Aaron's number from Dan's dad be any more awkward?

Blair speared some lettuce onto her fork and held it in mid-air. "Don't worry—I can get Aaron's number from Rufus for you."

"I don't know, B," Serena looked between her brunch and her best friend.

"I'll take care of everything," Blair assured her. "It'll be fun!"

"Fine," Serena said as she dug in. She was sure she would regret this.

_Spotted: B and S hailing a cab outside Barney's, loaded down with shopping bags and smiling. Good to see them doing what they do best, but how long can these best friends go without major drama?  
_


	2. Brooklyn

**Chapter Two: Brooklyn**

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. I'd be more careful with them.

Serena and Blair sat in a cab on their way from Barney's to Brooklyn. The trek from 60th and Madison to the Humphrey family loft was longer than expected, and the traffic was making the blonde antsy. "I don't know about this, B."

"About what?" Blair asked innocently.

"I mean, just showing up with muffins? Maybe we should call first. They might all have plans or something!" Serena fidgeted. She was never good at sitting still for long periods of time.

"Fine," Blair conceded. "You want to call Dan's house?" She looked at her friend and saw the hesitation in her eyes. She sighed: "Okay, I'll do it. You hold the muffins," she commanded as she plopped the bakery box on her friend's lap and took out her cell.

Serena watched nervously as Blair smiled and dialed: "Oh, hi, is this Rufus? It's Blair—Blair Waldorf, I hope it's not a bad time…Yeah, I just have three quick things I was wondering if I could trouble you with…Aw, you are so sweet!...Well, a) I just wanted to compliment you on the wonderful exhibition last night. I so enjoyed being able to attend…You're welcome, you really should be proud of the work you've done…okay, and b) I was just wondering if you could get me the contact information for the artist you were featuring—Aaron, was it? I was hoping to drop him a note, or a text, maybe, just a quick, well deserved congratulations…That'd be great! Serena and I are actually in the neighborhood grabbing brunch, maybe I could get it in person…" Serena relaxed as she listened to Blair's end of the conversation. She had been listening to her best friend wrap adults around her finger for over a decade, and Rufus Humphrey was obviously not immune to Blair's charm.

Blair giggled. "I guess that was c! We were hoping it'd be okay if we dropped by, you know how she and Dan are trying to be friends, and it seems like forever since I've been able to talk to Nate. Senior year is just so stressful!." She paused. "Thanks so much, Rufus, we shouldn't be too long….Oh, don't worry, Nate is usually up by 1…How do you feel about muffins? I always feel the need to bring something when given the privilege of visiting someone's home…It's no problem, I'll see in twenty minutes or so. Bye!"

She grinned victoriously at the girl sitting next to her. "See how easy that was?"

"You're right, Blair," Serena attempted a smile. "This will be fun!" She hoped, at least.

Several miles away, Rufus hung up the phone with a slight grin on his face. He might have heard Dan and Jenny rant about the brunette bitch of the UES in the past, but all his interactions with the girl had shown her to have good intentions. Mrs. Waldorf was giving his daughter a tremendous opportunity with Jenny's job, and he appreciated that. Besides, even if he wasn't always sure of Blair's intentions, he knew that Serena van der Woodsen was a good girl who always brightened the room with her presence.

He turned to refill his coffee cup, as Dan came and sat on a stool. Rubbing his hand through his think brown hair, his voice was still sleepy as he asked his father: "Who was that on the phone?"

"Blair," Rufus replied nonchalantly as he reached up to the cabinet and got out a mug for his son. "She and Serena wanted to stop by later."

"Blair Waldorf?" Dan repeated, his brown orbs widening. He was certainly awake now.

"Is that not okay?" Rufus wondered if he'd been manipulated by the high school senior again. Jenny had not been quick to forgive him after the birthday party Blair had convinced him to throw. "I told her that she and Serena could stop by—you did invite them both to the gallery opening last night."

"Uh, yeah, it's fine." Dan accepted the coffee and stared into the dark liquid, biting his lip. He wasn't fooling Rufus.

"Is there something going on that I don't know about, Dan?" Rufus looked affronted.

"I did something last night that I shouldn't have," he admitted. "I think I really hurt Blair last night."

"What?" Rufus was shocked. He had been way too preoccupied with the gallery opening to even approach the high school drama. He'd even had to stop by early this morning to open up and make sure Vanessa, along with the Pratt students who worked for him on the weekends had everything covered. "Are you and Blair…involved?" He raised an eyebrow. "Because I know you and Serena are broken up, but I always thought the best friend was off-limits. And Serena's with her today, you know."

"No, no, no," Dan shook his head. "There is no way I would ever be involved with Blair in that way."

"Uh-huh," Rufus said as he sipped his coffee. He recognized the mood Dan was in: he would soon tell all.

"I sort of, well I underestimated.." Dan was interrupted by a groan from the couch and the sound of Nate rolling onto the hardwood floor in his sleeping bag. If pressed, he would have admitted he was grateful.

"Errgah morning," Nate muttered as he sat up.

Rufus glanced at the clock behind him: it read 12:59. Certainly he had underestimated how well Blair knew Nathaniel Archibald.

Nate pulled the pair of jeans he'd folded on the floor the night before over his boxers and went to sit next to Dan, slumping his head in his hands. "Uh, can I please have some coffee, Mr. Humphrey?"

"Rufus," the elder reminded him as he went to get another mug out.

Dan turned towards Nate: "Blair and Serena are coming over," he informed him.

"Shit. Seriously? I didn't even think they knew I was staying here," Nate said sheepishly. He could only imagine what Blair would think about that, but Chuck's thoughts would be worse. He wondered if she would talk to him about it and convince his ex-best friend to put him up at the palace, or worse, call his mother.

"I told Serena," Dan admitted.

"Ah," Nate nodded with understanding. "She tells Blair everything."

"Everything?" Dan's eyes widened.

"Well, yeah, you know how girls are…" Nate paused. He could only think of one secret Serena had kept from Blair. "I mean, you know, there was that one thing." Come to think of it, both girls had kept the stories of losing their virginity secret from each other at first.

Dan grimaced: "Ah, that."

Rufus glanced between the two boys, the confusion evident on his face. Before he could say anything, the intercom buzzed.

"That must be the girls," Dan stood up. "I'll go let them in. Put a shirt on Nate, will you?"

Blair was carefully examining her manicure as Serena expertly maneuvered the entrance to the Humphrey's building. Even if Blair had been there before, she was still shocked by the lock of a doorman. They didn't even have a lounge. She figured that the Humphrey's must not have anything worth stealing in their loft, or they would have had a break-in years ago.

"S!" She exclaimed. "I chipped my pinky when we were getting all the bags out of the cab!"

Her friend just shook her blonde locks and stepped into the elevator. "We can get fresh mani's tomorrow. Get your bags and your ass in here, okay?"

Blair huffed: "I didn't remember their elevator being so dirty. I don't know how Nate can stand it."

Serena laughed. She had seen things worse than a grimy elevator. "It's not like the Archibald townhouse had an elevator."

"Had," Blair repeated. "Isn't it sad? I mean, think of all the times we hung out there and—"

"Watched your black and white movies?" Serena laughed but turned somber. "Yeah. It is pretty sad. That's why I think it's sweet of you for wanting to check up on Nate. But he's not Sleeping Beauty, you don't need to rescue him from a tower surrounded by dragons."

Blair frowned as the elevator opened on the Humphrey's floor: "Wasn't that Shrek?"

Dan's confused face greeted them. "You've seen Shrek?" He asked incredulously.

"That's right, Brooklyn," Blair brushed past him as her Barney's shopping bags hit him in the thigh. "Skip the pleasantries and just start judging people."

"Sorry," Serena bit her lip. "She's—"

"Right," Dan said. "Blair, you're right. I messed up last night and I should be apologizing to you right now."

"We're not discussing this," Blair declared. "Now are you going to let us in to the loft or just stand here in the hall harassing me?"

"Uh, yeah," Dan opened the door. "Come on in."

Blair set the Barneys bags down and Serena glanced apologetically at her ex as they entered. "The C word has been banned from all conversation today." She informed Dan.

"Cunt?" Nate called from his seat at the counter.

Blair laughed as she went to sit next to her ex. "Gee, thanks, Nate."

"No, no, I didn't mean—"

"She knows you didn't," Serena interjected, grinning. "What she's really trying to say is that you and I think the same. I thought that was the C word she meant when the subject first came up this morning."

"Uh, I think the word the girls are banning is Ch—" Dan looked confused as he glanced between Blair, Nate and Serena.

Blair shot Dan an evil look that made him shut up. "Banned," she repeated, and the other teens knew the discussion was over. They still thought about it though. Dan feeling guilty and low as Nate hoped that his (former?) best friend wasn't too hungover this morning. Serena? She was sick of thinking about her step-brother and the girl she considered a sister in that way; mostly, she was really glad they hadn't fucked in her bedroom. Not like any of them would dare tell Blair these things.

"We brought muffins!" Serena exclaimed cheerily as she set them down on the kitchen counter.

"Banana nut for you, Natie," Blair said. "I don't know what you like, Dan, but there's apple cinnamon, chocolate chip, and pumpkin."

"Pumpkin, huh?" Rufus walked in from the bathroom. "Sounds good to me."

"Hi Rufus!" Blair exclaimed, crossing her legs on the stool.

"Morning, Blair," he greeted her. "I have one of Aaron Rose's cards for you," he said as he reached into his back pocket and took one from a stack secured with a rubber band.

"And here's a muffin for thanks," she chirped as she took the card and handed him a pumpkin muffin from the bakery box. She glanced down at the card which had his school email listed along with a phone number boasting a 917 area code. "Great graphic design," she commented. "He was a great find on your part."

Serena rolled her eyes at Blair's blatant sucking up, and Dan glanced at her in confusion. Blair had barely looked at the exhibit, so why would she need to get Aaron's contact information?

"The graphic design was actually done by one of his friends from RISD," Rufus informed Blair.

Nate's muffin was a mess of crumbs as he shook his head and muttered, "RISD is just a regular cesspool of talent."

Blair looked at him with confusion. "I think cesspool isn't the word you meant, Nathaniel."

"It was." Nate assured her, as he thought of Max and the disgusting pictures he had been taking of Jenny last night.

"Uh, I gotta get back to the gallery and check in on everything," Rufus said. He chose to let whatever they were talking about go over his head. He was sure he didn't want to know. "Thanks for the muffin, Blair. Good to see you, Serena." He smiled at the girls. "I'll be back in time for dinner," he informed the boys.

They nodded. "Bye Rufus!" Blair called after him as he headed to the door. He waved his muffin in her direction as the door shut.

"You are such a kiss-ass," Serena exclaimed. She hit Blair in the back with her Gucci tote.

Blair grinned and passed Serena the business card. "You love it," she taunted her.

Dan paled in understanding: Blair had manipulated his father to help Serena a date with Aaron. He supposed it was nice of her, but he still wasn't sure Serena needed to be involved with the guy, ex-husband at summer camp or not.

"She's right," Nate grinned as he turned towards Serena. "You know we wouldn't have passed Algebra if Blair hadn't talked to Mr. Duggar for us."

"What did you say to him, anyway?" Serena questioned.

"A lady never tells," Blair demurred as two of her oldest friends laughed at her. "So, you're really staying here, huh Natie? I didn't even know they had a guest room.."

"We don't," Dan interjected, grateful for a chance to speak. "Nate's been bunking on the couch."

"The couch?!" Blair exclaimed as she jumped off the stool in her Chloe ankle boots and stomped over to see the couch in question. Serena followed her, if only out of curiousity. She'd seen the couch before and even made out with Dan on it before. But this was more out of loyalty to Blair and Nate: she wanted to make sure he was okay. Serena knew Nate could be okay in Brooklyn, but Blair had to see this for herself. "Your sleeping bag?!" Blair picked it up and wrinkled her nose. She had seen it before. One cold night, she had even thought she might lose her virginity on top of it. She had to admit a limo was better than a sleeping bag.

Nate and Dan got up, following the girls wearily as Blair plopped down on the couch. Her hand dug through the sleeping bag and Nate's face fell. He knew what Blair was looking for. "Blair," he warned, wishing he could stop her. He knew better.

Blair took the worn Steiff teddy bear from the bottom of the sleeping bag. Its right ear still missing from the time Chuck had cut it off, the tummy worn in the same familiar spots. She smiled, a real smile, and hugged it to her chest.

"Admiral!" Serena exclaimed excitedly at the sight of Nate's childhood toy. "Aw!"

Nate buried his head in his hands. Dan felt sorry for him as he recalled how Blair had mocked his cabbage patch doll last thanksgiving. But this was different. Blair seemed to enjoy holding Nate's old teddy bear and was cooing something indecipherable to it as Serena looked on with a smile.

"Blair," Nate looked up wearily. "Could you not…do this?"

"Do what?" She asked innocently. "Admiral told me himself that he missed playing with me and that he sends his best regards to Cat."

"Cat's a bear, too," Serena informed Dan, obviously revlling in the childhood memories.

"Of course," Dan nodded. It made no sense to him. "Well, maybe they could all hang out with Cedric sometime."

"You mean Cedric and Admiral have yet to meet?" Blair eyes widened as she looked at Nate teasingly.

"And they're not going to," Nate buried his head in his hands. He thought the days of Blair teaming up with Serena to embarrass him had ended in middle school.

The door to Jenny's room opened and the exhausted girl came out in a tank top and pajama pants. The remnants of last nights eye makeup had not been properly washed out, and her hair was a mess. Still, she smiled as she saw her brother sitting with Nate and remembered the feel of Nate's lips against her. "Morning Nate!" She chirped as she approached the living area. Her face fell when she saw Blair and Serena sitting with them. Jenny's mind raced, wondering if Blair had heard she'd quit from Eleanor and come to spread the unhappy news. "I'm, uh, gonna go take a shower," she said, and backed up towards the bathroom.

"Make sure to wash your face," Blair called after her tauntingly. Jenny felt a familiar chill from the Queen B's voice. She thought she'd left it behind at Constance.

The door shut behind Jenny, and the sound of rushing water soon followed.

"Someone's got a crush," Serena teased Nate. Jenny's eager voice and expression had not gone past her. Blair, on the other hand, figured Little J had no chance.

"It's nothing," Nate protested as Dan frowned.

"It better be," he said. "That's my fifteen year old sister." Dan couldn't help but remember what Chuck had tried to do to her once. Dan still thought of Jenny as innocent and untouchable, despite the recent changes.

"Maybe we should go out," Serena suggested. She could sense when a change of subject was appropriate, having been in one too many awkward family situations before.

"Ooh, we could take Admiral for a picnic in Central Park," Blair suggested, still not quite over her chance to tease Nate.

"B, we're like an hour from Central Park," Serena reminded her friend, who merely shrugged. Blair had already gotten to go Barney's this morning and shop, what else did her Saturday need?

"We could go to Prospect Park?" Dan suggested. "I mean, it doesn't have a zoo but it's nice on a day like today, with the leaves piling up. Little bit of country in the city."

"Sounds good to me," Serena grinned. She didn't want to sit on Nate's couch much longer.

"Yeah, good idea, man," Nate agreed.

"I could change into my new flats," Blair demurred. She glanced down at her platforms.

"Ah," Nate stood up. "Another reason to be glad Serena is back: no more spending the third Saturday of the month at Barney's with Blair."

"I do miss your carrying the bags though," Blair smiled.

"I don't miss your trying to dress me like a Ken doll," Nate countered, but he was smiling too.

Serena glanced towards the pile she and her friend had made by the door. "Well, for old times sake, you're gonna need to pick some up once again."

Blair dug into one of the large bags and pulled out her new Marc by Marc Jacobs patent flats, handing the other bags to Nate. "Dan better pick up his share, too!"

"Hey," he protested. "We're guys not mules."

Nate shook his head and hefted some up: "When it comes to shopping bags, we are always mules."

Laughter followed him into the elevator.

When Jenny got out of the shower, the apartment was empty and she shouted in exasperation.

The End!

Author's Note: I miss the friendship on the show. If you got this far, I'd really know what you thought about it. Thank you.


End file.
